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What to Do When the Green Eyed Monster Roars
Jealousy is an unfortunate thing that everyone has to deal with at one point in their life or another. Especially if you are in a relationship. More than likely, sometime you will feel that ugly green monster creeping up on you, taking over your actions and possibly leading to heartache in your relationship.
Jealousy can happen in many different situations. Perhaps he crossed the line and cheated on you. Or maybe he is goggling some busty babe across the bar. Or maybe he is even just having a simple conversation with a co-worker that you find threatening for some reason.
Jealousy is certainly a horrible emotion - it has pain, anger, fear, revulsion and even guilt mixed into it sometimes. And that is regardless of whether the jealousy is founded or unfounded. You can't help it, it is just THERE and eating away at you.
There seem to be two different kinds of jealousy, too. One type of jealousy is jealousy that is founded in reason. The other kind is unwarranted. Unwarranted jealousy is being jealous over something like your husband mentioning some even years ago that happened with his ex-girlfriend, or some woman hitting on HIM at the bar.
Jealousy that is rational - such as your man cheating on you, is a signal flare. You cannot ignore these feelings. These feelings definitely indicate that you and your man have some serious issues that you need to work on - together. If he will not work with you on them and he is making you feel like something other than numero uno - you need to find someone who will treat you better.
What your emotions are telling you that you may not understand at that point is that he is making you feel like a second class citizen in your relationship. This lack of balance is difficult to deal with, and if it is not corrected, will lead to a lopsided relationship - where perhaps you are doing all the giving or all the taking. Those relationships don't last.
The second type of suspicion is when you have negative emotions over things that have occurred in the past, or over things that have no consequence. Everybody has past relationships - even you. If your ex boyfriend walked up to you in the grocery store and said hi - you wouldn't think a thing about it. If you get jealous if that happens to your husband - then you have a problem.
If you become jealous over small things like this - then what your emotions are telling you is that you are afraid and insecure. This is not in any way HIS fault. This is something YOU need to work on with yourself. Take some time and really reach inside yourself and figure out what is causing the fear you have.
Sometimes, women even get jealous about things that have not even occurred. Say for instance you see your man talking to a co-worker at a party and they are laughing and having a good time. This is another emotional response to fear and insecurity. You need to look at what HE is doing and tell yourself, "It IS what it IS. Nothing."
Sometimes jealousy is founded, other times it is not. Your relationship with your boyfriend or husband will certainly improve if you are able to discover the ROOT FEAR of your jealousy, and overcome that fear, making YOU a healthier, happier woman.
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